Summary Legacy Mastermind is exclusively for divorced dads who feel helpless against the power of ongoing high-conflict that’s drawing their children away from them. In this program they will be coded to strike the tone of fatherhood and develop the magnetic quality that will draw their kids into their orbit and keep them there forever!Continue reading “108. This is the end of Parental Alienation.”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
ESP 103 Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims (part 3)
Summary Lori Sims runs the Nacho Kids Academy – sign up with this link and she’ll send a portion of your fee right back here to support this podcast!Click here: https://nachokidsacademy.com/theessentialstepmom Sign up at bit.ly/tracysummit for the Ultimate Stepfamily Summit! — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/essentialstepmom/message Transcription
ESP 102: Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims (Part 2)
Summary Here’s a link to the episode with Lori’s husband David: https://anchor.fm/essentialstepmom/episodes/ESP-6-3-David-Sims—Pulling-it-out-of-the-fire-elkg5g I do a livestream video every Monday in my Facebook group The Spectacular Stepmom. Tomorrow’s session (Monday Sept 13) at 1pm EDT is called Bouncing Back From Stepmom Burnout – Before It’s Too Late. Join the group by sending a join request toContinue reading “ESP 102: Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims (Part 2)”
ESP 101: “Nacho” role-play with Lori Sims (part one)
Summary It’s a Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims, the original Nacho Mama! You can learn more at nachokids.com. Sign up for the Ultimate Stepfamily Summit (Sept 15-17) at bit.ly/tracysummit Would you be so kind as to pop over to Apple podcasts and leave a quick review? If you screenshot it and send it to meContinue reading “ESP 101: “Nacho” role-play with Lori Sims (part one)”
ESP 11.3 EPISODE 100! Part 3 of my chat with Seth Nelson about what really matters.
Summary Here are some highlights of today’s conversation with Seth Nelson: 1:10 – when Seth got divorced, the law required one parent was named the primary residential, the other was secondary. In the end, it’s all about your ego, it’s just a label. 5:25 – On frequency of visits, it’s often better to have moreContinue reading “ESP 11.3 EPISODE 100! Part 3 of my chat with Seth Nelson about what really matters.”
ESP 11.2 Attorney Seth Nelson: Should you settle for 60/40?
Summary This is part 2 of my 3-part conversation with Florida-based family law attorney Seth Nelson. Listen at 2:20 to hear Seth describe the the 3 worlds in which he lives as a divorce attorney, at 5:25 to learn about the many categories that courts consider (Factors A, B, C….all the way to Factor T!)Continue reading “ESP 11.2 Attorney Seth Nelson: Should you settle for 60/40?”
ESP 11.1 Divorce Attorney Seth Nelson
Summary “Live your life, not your divorce!” Seth’s podcast is called “How To Split A Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships”. Here’s a link to the show on Apple podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-split-a-toaster-a-divorce-podcast-about/id1527497405 You can contact Seth’s office in Tampa, Florida via his website, https://nelsonkoster.com Sign up for The Ultimate Stepmfamily Summit with my link toContinue reading “ESP 11.1 Divorce Attorney Seth Nelson”
ESP 11.1 Divorce Attorney Seth Nelson
Summary “Live your life, not your divorce!” Seth’s podcast is called “How To Split A Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships”. Here’s a link to the show on Apple podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-split-a-toaster-a-divorce-podcast-about/id1527497405 You can contact Seth’s office in Tampa, Florida via his website, https://nelsonkoster.com Sign up for The Ultimate Stepmfamily Summit with my link toContinue reading “ESP 11.1 Divorce Attorney Seth Nelson”
ESP 10.6 Anna De Acosta in conversation
Summary Visit Anna’s website at https://annadeacosta.com. The Ultimate Stepfamily Summit is happening from September 15-17. It’s FREE! Sign up now at bit.ly/tracysummit to get my special bonus offer of lifetime access to my library of over 50 Livestream stepmom tutorial videos! You’ll never be at a loss for something to listen to again! — SendContinue reading “ESP 10.6 Anna De Acosta in conversation”
ESP 10.3 Boundaries: The Bricks and Mortar Edition.
Summary Want to know more about exactly how to make those boundaries you wish you had? Here are my top 5 tools for making better boundaries with your ex, your kids, even your spouse. I love hearing from you – let me know what you think about this, or just reach out to me anyContinue reading “ESP 10.3 Boundaries: The Bricks and Mortar Edition.”
ESP 9.5 Jeff Hoffman and Jack Rollins: Visible Man, the Discord Server
Summary “People sign up – we don’t know who they are unless they tell us.” Jeff Hoffman and Jack Rollins invite you to join their anonymous “Visible Man” Discord server with this link:https://discord.gg/vf9NTJ9TPz Men and women are welcome! Men will be subsequently enrolled in a private men-only room by voice verification. If you’d like toContinue reading “ESP 9.5 Jeff Hoffman and Jack Rollins: Visible Man, the Discord Server”
ESP 9.3 The Archives of Essential Stepmom Podcast
Summary Sorry for my podcast fail this week, but join me reading Amanda Ripley’s High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. Here’s a link to order from Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/high-conflict-amanda-ripley/1137938562 If you’re ready to address your deepest stepmom anxieties, or get to work on overcoming that post-divorce “parenting paralysis” thatContinue reading “ESP 9.3 The Archives of Essential Stepmom Podcast”
ESP 9.2 Q: “How do I merge the best parts of myself with my stepmom role?”
Summary This is an audio recording of a livestream on this topic from my Spectacular Stepmom facebook group. Not a member? Send a join request to THE SPECTACULAR STEPMOM Interested in booking a free coaching call with me? Go to bit.ly/CALLTRACY — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/essentialstepmom/message Transcription
ESP 8.5 Jonnie Jensen: dad, stepdad, superdad
Summary Please go check out Team Super Dad and get more Jonnie Jensen. I feel very much aligned with his mission and how he goes about empowering dads to make all the impact they want to have on their kids while having a great work-life balance and even a great bank balance! Want to tryContinue reading “ESP 8.5 Jonnie Jensen: dad, stepdad, superdad”
ESP 8.4 How to find the sweet spot of stepparenting!
The show I watched and adored is called Undone. You can find it on Amazon Prime. I’d love to hear from you! Email me at info@essentialstepmom.com. I’ll be live on my public Facebook page, @essentialstepmom from March 22-26 with 5 days of tips for staying in contact with kids who you can’t access. I’d loveContinue reading “ESP 8.4 How to find the sweet spot of stepparenting!”
ESP 8.3 Carly Israel says “Thanks, but no thanks!”
Summary You can find Carly at carlyisrael.com and her podcast is called In Your Corner Divorce. Her book, Seconds and Inches is available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and Bookshop.org. Find more information about the Nacho Kids Academy at nachokidsacademy.com/theessentialstepmom. That’s the link that will let them know I sent you, so they can sponsorContinue reading “ESP 8.3 Carly Israel says “Thanks, but no thanks!””
ESP 8.2 Nurture Burnout with Anne Cullen
Nurture burnout can happen to anyone who cares a lot about the people they live with, or work with or share the planet with. It’s especially common in stepmoms, so if you ever feeling like you’re teetering on the edge of burnout, this episode is for you! I have something else for you – myContinue reading “ESP 8.2 Nurture Burnout with Anne Cullen”
ESP 8.1 The teenage stepdaughter with Mary T. Kelly
Mary Kelly is probably the most experienced therapist in America for stepfamilies and their kids with over 18 years of experience dealing with this family dynamic. She’s a regular contributor to Stepmom Magazine, HuffPost and other publications. Find her at realstepfamilies.com. Her Facebook page is Real Stepfamilies, Real Solutions and she’s on Instagram @realstepmoms. EmailContinue reading “ESP 8.1 The teenage stepdaughter with Mary T. Kelly”
ESP 7.8 How to Raise a Boy – with author Michael C. Reichert
Summary There’s a lot of talk about helping girls to take their power and shed limiting stereotypes, but our boys suffer from limits too. How can we stop our unconscious role-typing of boys and girls? Don’t we want boys to become compassionate, sensitive, heart-centered husbands and dads? Michael C Reichert can be found at MichaelCReichert.comContinue reading “ESP 7.8 How to Raise a Boy – with author Michael C. Reichert”
ESP 7.7 The Addicted Child – with author Richard Capriola
Summary Richard Capriola has been a mental health and addictions counselor for over two decades. He’s been licensed in Illinois and Texas and recently retired from Menninger Clinic in Houston where he worked as an addictions counselor for adolescents and adults diagnosed with psychiatric and substance abuse disorders. He is the author of the bookContinue reading “ESP 7.7 The Addicted Child – with author Richard Capriola”
ESP 7.6 Rich Bolus part 2 “Am I robbing them of these experiences?”
Summary Send your partner over to listen to some episodes of The Dad Mindset Podcast with Rich Bolus at TheDadMindset.com Book a call and let’s talk about whether coaching is the right kind of support for you – bit.ly/CALLTRACY I have a free parenting guide for dads who need to make a stronger connection withContinue reading “ESP 7.6 Rich Bolus part 2 “Am I robbing them of these experiences?””
ESP 7.5 The Dad Mindset with Rich Bolus (part 1)
Summary Rich Bolus hosts The Dad Mindset podcast which you can find at http://thedadmindset.com You can download my free Restorative Parenting Quickstart Guide at bit.ly/dadagain I have two email addresses – both are super-private! Try either info@essentialstepmom.com or tracy@tracypoizner.com Did you know I have a Facebook group for divorced dads? It’s called One For TheContinue reading “ESP 7.5 The Dad Mindset with Rich Bolus (part 1)”
ESP 7.4 Best-of-Essential-Stepmom, Red Flags with Lori Sims
Summary Lori Sims is the creator of the ingenious Nacho Kids method and the Nacho Kids Academy which is saving blended families and second marriages every single day. Check out the Nacho Kids Academy with this link and she’ll send some support right back to this podcast! NachoKidsAcademy.com/theessentialstepmom Shoot me an email at info@essentialstepmom.com ReadyContinue reading “ESP 7.4 Best-of-Essential-Stepmom, Red Flags with Lori Sims”
ESP 7.3 When can a weary dad just give up?
Summary Alienated kids can be awful to their divorced parent. Does your partner ever just feeling like giving up? It’s pretty normal to run out of steam and it’s OK to take a break but don’t give in to despair. Miracles happen all the time – you can even make them happen yourself! Grab myContinue reading “ESP 7.3 When can a weary dad just give up?”
ESP 7.2 A bit of “woo” – from me to you.
Summary Here’s a little spirituality for the season – non denominational of course. I hope you enjoy the ESR Technique to help you chill out and turn down the volume on your Yuletide stress. You can reach me at info@essentialstepmom.com Ready to just take the leap and say this time next year that coaching wasContinue reading “ESP 7.2 A bit of “woo” – from me to you.”
ESP 7.1 Not Just A Stepmom with Heidi Farrell
Summary Heidi’s blog can be found at notjustastepmom.com Grab my free Restorative Parenting QuickStart Guide at bit.ly/dadagain Would you (or your partner) share your experiences of parental alienation with me? Email me at info@essentialstepmom.com to set something up, or just go ahead and jump onto my calendar to book any time you see that worksContinue reading “ESP 7.1 Not Just A Stepmom with Heidi Farrell”
ESP 6.8 F_Divorce: Jack Rollins
Summary Jack is not a dad but he’s divorced and he has some valuable insights into one husband’s emotional experience after a failed marriage. You can find him on instagram at @f_divorce, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/fdivorce and on the F_Divorce Podcast Join my Facebook group “One For The Dads” by sending a join request toContinue reading “ESP 6.8 F_Divorce: Jack Rollins”
ESP 6.7 The completely amazing, totally absent bio mom.
Summary Are you sick and tired of hearing about your stepchild’s fantastic mom, when you’re the one showing up for the child in all the way’s she’s not? Let’s talk this through, and we’ll talk about life coaching too – maybe you’re finally ready to make a step towards letting go of the filters thatContinue reading “ESP 6.7 The completely amazing, totally absent bio mom.”
ESP 6.6 Trystan Reese Part 2
Summary Pre-order Trystan’s book “How We Do Family” from Amazon, or support one of the last standing independent booksellers, Powells of Portland Oregon: https://www.powells.com/book/how-we-do-family-9781615197569 Trystan is on Facebook and Instagram @biffandi Interested in learning tools to share with your child or stepchild to help them be resilient in the face of emotional or psychological pressureContinue reading “ESP 6.6 Trystan Reese Part 2”
ESP 6.5 Trystan Reese shines a bright light on your secret fears (part 1 of 2)
Summary “If I can’t be like those perfect multi-household-happy-families who all get along and do Thanksgiving together, am I broken?” I don’t know about you, but I can totally relate to thinking my family should look – at least a little – like the ones on Instagram, but this guy says things out loud thatContinue reading “ESP 6.5 Trystan Reese shines a bright light on your secret fears (part 1 of 2)”
ESP 6.4 Man the F_%@ Up! with Deuce Almightee
Summary You can follow Deuce on Facebook at Deuce Almightee, and on Instagram @EHYODEUCE His webinar is taking place on Thursday November 5th – you can sign up here: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZIkcuiurzguE9C6bP1aHLP5GNMtA1WBO69b You can register for my free Facebook Challenge: “Stick To Your Guns”: Parenting for Divorced Dads with this link: bit.ly/dadpower Connect with me anytime atContinue reading “ESP 6.4 Man the F_%@ Up! with Deuce Almightee”
ESP 6.3 David Sims – Pulling it out of the fire
Summary “My expectations set her up for failure”. That’s what David Sims has to say about his experience of blended family life before he and his wife Lori figured out how to step back from the edge of divorce and put their marriage and family back together. They founded the Nacho Kids method and nowContinue reading “ESP 6.3 David Sims – Pulling it out of the fire”
ESP 6.2 The Divorced Dad Diaries with Stephane Jutras
Summary You can find Stephane’s podcast on every platform, and by visiting his website, thedivorceddaddiaries.com You can find my blog and other resources at essentialstepmom.com If it’s time for you to get another level of support for your stepmom journey, reach out for a 1:1 coaching session or two. Email me for more info atContinue reading “ESP 6.2 The Divorced Dad Diaries with Stephane Jutras”
ESP 6.1 Visible Man with Jeffrey Hoffman
Summary Jeffrey Hoffman can be found at visibleman.org I can be found at essentialstepmom.com I’m gearing up for a free Facebook Live 5-day challenge where I’ll walk you through how to create immunity from interference in your parenting, and how you can build it right into your parent-child relationships. Just shoot me a message atContinue reading “ESP 6.1 Visible Man with Jeffrey Hoffman”
ESP 5.7 Are you panicking about college fees yet? Part 2 with Denise Thomas
Summary You heard it right – college scholarships are available even for kids in kindergarten! You don’t have to go nuts with it, but it’s truly never too early to start learning about what’s involved in getting your kids a full ride. Learn to line up your ducks and you can save tens of thousandsContinue reading “ESP 5.7 Are you panicking about college fees yet? Part 2 with Denise Thomas”
ESP 5.6 Are you and your partner stressing (or fighting) over college fees yet? It’s coming!
Summary My guest Denise Thomas dug herself and her family out of bankruptcy and researched her butt off to get $199,000 in college scholarships for her two home-schooled kids. She says it’s not about marks, it’s about smarts! She’ll dish some secrets in this episode and the next one – it was too much goodnessContinue reading “ESP 5.6 Are you and your partner stressing (or fighting) over college fees yet? It’s coming!”
ESP 5.5 Kate Anthony talks First-Wife-Forever Syndrome!
Summary Do you know anybody’s first wife who seems to cling energetically to him years, even after she gets a new partner? Turns out this is not such a rare phenomenon. Today’s guest gets full marks for putting her experience as “that” bio-mom on the table, crumbs and all! Kate Anthony is a gem. She’sContinue reading “ESP 5.5 Kate Anthony talks First-Wife-Forever Syndrome!”
ESP 5.4 The hidden cost of Parental Alienation
Summary Never mind the emotional toll, there are dollars to consider too! Therapy, counsellors, private schools, college, mediation or lawyers – it seems never ending. If alienation is a feature of your partner’s relationship with his or her kids, it’s worth being proactive! To learn more about Restorative Parenting, my comprehensive coaching program to getContinue reading “ESP 5.4 The hidden cost of Parental Alienation”
ESP 5.3 High Conflict: The Drama Behind Parental Alienation
Summary Can you get off the hamster-wheel of drama? How can you fight for your kids without just buying into more drama? Reach out any time to me at my personal email: info@essentialstepmom.com Sign up for the FREE Stepfamily Summit 2020 here: http://bit.ly/tracysummit Join me and my guest Naja Hall this Wednesday, Sept 9 atContinue reading “ESP 5.3 High Conflict: The Drama Behind Parental Alienation”
ESP 5.2 It’s the stepmoms who find the answers
Summary Stepmoms are the first point of contact with people who help parents heal the relationship with their kids after divorce or due to parental alienation. Then, they have to step aside and let the biological parent roll up their sleeves and do the work. I’ll be speaking about how to restore your relationship andContinue reading “ESP 5.2 It’s the stepmoms who find the answers”
ESP 5.1 Dorcy Pruter on healing the damage from Parental Alienation
Summary Dorcy Pruter is the founder and CEO of the Conscious Coparenting Institute. She runs a 4 day intensive workshop called High Road to Reunification that boast a stunning 100% success rate! Learn more about her work at: Conscious Co-Parenting Institute Home Dorcy has prepared a free e-book called “Stepping In: The Step-parents’ Guide ForContinue reading “ESP 5.1 Dorcy Pruter on healing the damage from Parental Alienation”
ESP 4.6 Bobbi Brooks Wilcox on Reconciling and More
Summary Blended Families United is Bobbi’s website and organization. Her work centres around helping couples who are planning or just starting their stepfamily journey. Her book Reconciled is available from Amazon. Yes, I offer personal coaching for stepmoms and focused support for families struggling with parental alienation, manipulation or brainwashing. Reach out for a chatContinue reading “ESP 4.6 Bobbi Brooks Wilcox on Reconciling and More”
ESP 4.5 Bobbi Brooks Wilcox wrote the book on getting it wrong and turning it around.
Summary You can find Bobbi’s website at blendedfamiliesunited.com and her book “Reconciled” is available from Amazon. Try the Nacho Kids Academy at no risk for a month and support this podcast at the same time by using this link: NachoKidsAcademy.com/theessentialstepmom Grab my free download 3 Secrets of Successful Stepmoms from my website at essentialstepmom.com —Continue reading “ESP 4.5 Bobbi Brooks Wilcox wrote the book on getting it wrong and turning it around.”
ESP 4.4 How do you bond with a kid that wants nothing to do with you?
Summary It’s actually pretty simple: you bond around the fact that they don’t want to connect with you! I’ll explain how it looked in my family and how it worked out for us. Spoiler alert: Happy Ending! Check out the Nacho Kids Academy with this link to support this podcast with a portion of yourContinue reading “ESP 4.4 How do you bond with a kid that wants nothing to do with you?”
ESP 4.3 Go Blend Yourself: Busting More Stepfamily Myths
Summary This is my new go-to comeback for anyone who wants to give me unsolicited advice about my stepfamily dynamics. They can try whatever they like on their own family! Visit my website at essentialstepmom.com Join my Facebook community by sending a join request to The Spectacular Stepmom — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/essentialstepmom/message
4.2 Busting Blended Family Myth #2
Summary Myth #2 is that Blended Families are forever families. Truth is, they unblend just the same as other stepfamilies do. What can we do to make our families stand the test of time, despite messed up custody schedules, high conflict personalities, loyalty issues and more? Listen up and we’ll get started. Visit me atContinue reading “4.2 Busting Blended Family Myth #2”
4.1 The Myth of the Blended Family
Summary I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that stepfamilies aren’t required to blend. They have a much more noble mission in my opinion, which is to “mend”. When you shift your focus, everything could change for your family. The book I mentioned is Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. VisitContinue reading “4.1 The Myth of the Blended Family”
3.10 The Evil Stepmom Archetype: #notme
Summary Do you feel like you’re walking around wearing a heavy backpack that you can’t take off? I don’t know about you but I hate it that the idea of a stepmother is automatically linked to an image of someone not so nice. I’ll share some thoughts about how we can change that dynamic. TheContinue reading “3.10 The Evil Stepmom Archetype: #notme”
3.9 3 easy steps to conquering Guilty Parent Syndrome
Summary Is your partner struggling with guilty parent syndrome? Here’s help in 3 easy steps. Grab my free cheat sheet: 100% Dad In Half The Time Interested in hanging out on social with some other dads in the blended family dynamic? Send a join request to my Facebook community, One For The Dads . ItContinue reading “3.9 3 easy steps to conquering Guilty Parent Syndrome”
3.8 Why feeling bad might be the best thing that ever happened to you [and to your stepkids].
Summary Join my email community by sending an email to info@essentialstepmom.com with the subject line EMAIL! Here’s where you can find the podcast episode of “Unruffled” with Janet Lansbury: UNRUFFLED – listen here Follow Susan David here: SUSAN DAVID’S WEBSITE …plus, her TEDTALK is linked here! Visit my website at essentialstepmom.com and email me atContinue reading “3.8 Why feeling bad might be the best thing that ever happened to you [and to your stepkids].”
ESP 3.7 Jessica Kuiken has help for your transition-day troubles.
Summary Jessica Kuiken is a nutritionist, NLP practitioner and a Diamond Leader with DoTerra, my personal favourite supplier of essential oils. You can find her at jessicakuiken.com and her Facebook group is called SpOIL the Soul. I’m looking for input to help me prepare my live webinar about Unbrainwashing the Alienated Child. Please reach out toContinue reading “ESP 3.7 Jessica Kuiken has help for your transition-day troubles.”
ESP 3.6: Un-Brainwashing Your Alienated Child
Summary This is a quick primer on a complex topic. I’m thinking about doing a full webinar about healing a brainwashed child – if you’re interested in hearing about that, or have anything to contribute to the discussion, please shoot me a message at info@essentialstepmom.com OR, just book a 20-minute phone chat, I’d love toContinue reading “ESP 3.6: Un-Brainwashing Your Alienated Child”
ESP 3.5: Your Mother’s Day Readiness Checklist
Summary Brace for it – the whole world is getting ready to poke you in a very sensitive spot. Here’s how to prepare. Don’t forget, Stepmom Day is Sunday May 17th – put it in big letters on the family calendar and let them know what kind of activity to surprise you with! Visit meContinue reading “ESP 3.5: Your Mother’s Day Readiness Checklist”
ESP 3.4: True Confessions: I’ve lost it on someone else’s kids – more than once.
Summary What can I say? This is embarrassing but it’s good for me to talk about it, and it’s good for you to hear it because maybe by laughing *at* me (even if I feel like you’re laughing *with* me), you can avoid repeating my mistakes! Join my Facebook community, which I police like aContinue reading “ESP 3.4: True Confessions: I’ve lost it on someone else’s kids – more than once.”
ESP 3.3 Five Fast Ways To Shake Off Negative Emotions
Summary Listen to Jack Kornfield’s beautiful guided meditation on Broken Record Podcast. There is lots of support available also on his website jackkornfield.com. You can learn more about my coaching process and how to discover and deliver your special gifts by contacting me at info@essentialstepmom.com or booking a free discovery call at tracypoizner.bookafy.com — SendContinue reading “ESP 3.3 Five Fast Ways To Shake Off Negative Emotions”
ESP 3.2 Join me for a little “self-care”!
Summary Come with me for a little walk. We’ll talk about getting what you need during these extra difficult days. Visit my website at http://www.essentialstepmom.com If you’d like to hear my webinar where I shared suggestions from homeopaths around the world for treating symptoms of this virus, just send me an email at info@essentialstepmom.com I”mContinue reading “ESP 3.2 Join me for a little “self-care”!”
ESP 3.1 Mothers In A Dangerous Time
Summary Season 3: The Season of Coronavirus! You thought being a stepmom was the hardest thing you’d ever done? LOL – welcome to the new hardest thing ever! I’ll share some advice about getting through this pandemic with your head on straight. Kim John Payne’s Simplicity Parenting website is simplicityparenting.com Learn more about Juice PlusContinue reading “ESP 3.1 Mothers In A Dangerous Time”
3 Ways To Help Your Spouse Follow Through With His Kids
There’s a refrain I hear pretty often in comments from stepmoms in my Facebook group, The Spectacular Stepmom. Their partner has agreed to do something, usually around discipline, rules, schedules or schoolwork, but somehow he never follows through and nothing changes. When this happens, it’s easy to get emotional because it feels like you’re being ignoredContinue reading “3 Ways To Help Your Spouse Follow Through With His Kids”
ESP 2.21: Five Kinds of Stepmom Who DON’T Need to “NACHO”!
Summary Lori Wilkins Sims is my guest today. She’s the originator of the Nacho Kids method. I challenged her to come up with some situations where it’s not necessary to disengage from some aspects of raising your stepkids, and we had a lively conversation – some of it serious and some tongue in cheek. I challengedContinue reading “ESP 2.21: Five Kinds of Stepmom Who DON’T Need to “NACHO”!”
ESP 2.20 More with Tamasin Thomas on stopping those Matrimonial Money Fights!
Summary Part 2 of a 3-part series with Tamasin Thomas, therapist and financial expert. Grab her free e-book, 3 Steps to Resolving Financial Conflict from her website at tamasinthomas.com My book of Boredom Busters is also available at no cost during this challenging time – find it at essentialstepmom.com With all the “social distancing”, I’mContinue reading “ESP 2.20 More with Tamasin Thomas on stopping those Matrimonial Money Fights!”
The Road To “I’ve Got This!”
This is about getting to where you feel like you know what you’re doing, where things are starting to come more easily, where you feel relaxed and confident about step-parenting. Remember how you felt when you learned to ride a bike? You probably started off with training wheels, or with someone holding the seat andContinue reading “The Road To “I’ve Got This!””
Burning out, stepmom? Come over to my house.
Remember the 3 Little Pigs? Of course you do. We all grew up learning why we should mock the one who decides to build his house out of straw, but let’s be honest, it’s totes the easiest, fastest way to put a roof over your head! Then there’s the little guy who goes for aContinue reading “Burning out, stepmom? Come over to my house.”
A Walk For All Reasons
Part One If you don’t already love to walk, I think that you should learn to love it. Going for a walk outside together, whether in the city or the countryside, is a wonderful bonding activity and will help you have a positive impact on a child in your life. Most kids today are wayContinue reading “A Walk For All Reasons”
Sh!t Happens; Resentment Festers
But There’s A Cure! Let’s face it, being angry or sad or disappointed is no fun. On the other hand, life would be pretty boring if nothing ever prompted you to assert yourself or create boundaries or if every person and situation completely satisfied your expectations. Anger, sadness and disappointment are common words for ways we feel when things don’tContinue reading “Sh!t Happens; Resentment Festers”
She’d have to work-like-a-mother to pull this off!
Hey, dads – listen up. One of the most common conflicts I hear in second marriages with kids goes like this: “My husband/boyfriend wants me to be a ‘mother figure’ for his kids. I keep reading that it’s not the right approach but he doesn’t understand and I whenever I try to talk to himContinue reading “She’d have to work-like-a-mother to pull this off!”
Random Acts Of Kindness | Stepmom Challenge
Last week, I had one of those cool experiences that just makes you smile for the whole day. I came up a dollar short at the store on a day that I only had cash with me and no cards to cover it. This smiling girl at the next check out held out her hand andContinue reading “Random Acts Of Kindness | Stepmom Challenge”
Peer Support Is Great, But Where Is Your Stepmom Advice Coming From?
Scrolling through my social media feed one day recently, one particular post caught my eye. It wasn’t in a stepmom group, but a regular parenting forum for women trying to learn how to parent in a kinder, gentler, more enlightened way than the way they might have been raised themselves. I think it’s awesome thatContinue reading “Peer Support Is Great, But Where Is Your Stepmom Advice Coming From?”
Your Parenting Style Matters – Here’s Why.
What I keep seeing is stepmom burn-out. Literally, these wives and girlfriends are becoming so exhausted and feeling so hopeless, they don’t know how much longer they can go on. What is it about blended family life that can suck a woman dry in mere months? Tracy Poizner Remember the 3 Little Pigs? Of courseContinue reading “Your Parenting Style Matters – Here’s Why.”
What If The Bio Mama Is Gone Forever?
What if your step kids’ mother is deceased, or completely out of the picture for reasons such as mental illness, heavy drug use or prison? What do you have to do differently as a stepmom? My opinion is that it’s more important to underline what you should be doing that’s just the same as inContinue reading “What If The Bio Mama Is Gone Forever?”
Let’s Design Your Stepmom Dream Team!
Yes, you deserve a posse of girls to stand around you, just like in this image: women who have your back, who give you courage and cheer you on in your toughest times. You might think everyone has a tribe except for you, but most of us create one for ourselves. Let’s talk about howContinue reading “Let’s Design Your Stepmom Dream Team!”
I Wish Mom And Dad Were Still Together
These are words that can strike at the heart of a stepmother so it’s important to understand what kids really mean when they say this. If you have lost one of your own parents, you might sometimes feel like saying “I wish dad were still around. I really miss him”. I think you know whatContinue reading “I Wish Mom And Dad Were Still Together”
Is your partner struggling with guilty parent syndrome? Here’s help in 3 easy steps
What I want you and your spouse to know is that guilty parenting is not a crime. If you feel guilty about having caused some suffering, it’s a sign that you’re a good person, it means you have empathy! Guilt is actually a healthy emotion, it’s supposed to help you modify your behaviour. It pushesContinue reading “Is your partner struggling with guilty parent syndrome? Here’s help in 3 easy steps”
Is Meditation Too Woo-woo For You?
You can still increase your awareness and benefit your step-parenting journey without sitting cross-legged or closing your eyes. I’m a huge fan of meditation. It brought me to where I was ready to find a new partner 6 years after separating from my first husband. Strictly speaking, it allowed me to see him right inContinue reading “Is Meditation Too Woo-woo For You?”
I Hate Calling Myself A “Stepmom”!
I have been a “stepmom” for 12 years now, having already been the regular, normal, default kind of mom for some years before that wretched title was foist upon me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life with my husband’s kids. I just hate having to call myself somebody’s “stepmom”. For the years beforeContinue reading “I Hate Calling Myself A “Stepmom”!”
If You’re A Stepmom, There’s ONE Ingredient Your Cooking Is Missing
How does it feel when your stepchild doesn’t want to eat what you make? At very least, you probably feel irritated. You spent a lot of time shopping with them in mind and cooking what you think they will like. It’s hard not to take it personally, so you might even feel rejected, insulted, disrespected. If saying noContinue reading “If You’re A Stepmom, There’s ONE Ingredient Your Cooking Is Missing”
How to Have Good Boundaries | Stepmom Wellness
As a stepmom, you probably often feel that your boundaries are being challenged, if not actually stomped on! Between the step-kids, your partner and the bio-mom, your ability to feel grounded and confident in your own home gets constantly tested. Boundaries can be personal, emotional or energetic. Here are 3 basic situations: Too much ofContinue reading “How to Have Good Boundaries | Stepmom Wellness”
Hold Your First Family Meeting!
Maybe convening a family meeting sounds like as much fun as joining a Polar Bear swim on New Years’ Day, but if you do it right, it can be something everyone actually looks forward to. It also serves as a great way to accomplish a lot of crucial goals for your family: It makes rulesContinue reading “Hold Your First Family Meeting!”
Can you be a good stepmom if you don’t like kids?
Here’s what I think: the only opinion that matters about whether or not you are a good stepmom is the child’s. He or she is the only one who gets to weigh in on that. Not your partner, or his ex, or his parents or anybody else who wants to judge what you are doing. Let meContinue reading “Can you be a good stepmom if you don’t like kids?”
A Stepmom’s Letter to Santa
Dear Santa, Remember, a while back, I asked for someone to share a loving relationship with? At the time, it was the most important thing in the world to me. I thought if I could just have that one thing – a partner – my life would be perfect. Well, you came through, and ifContinue reading “A Stepmom’s Letter to Santa”
6 Ways To Be A Stepmother Who Is Not A Mom
My personal approach to the role of stepmother is to avoid behaving like a “mom”. There could be good reasons to do otherwise, but for most of us I think this is the best policy and here is why: I’m pretty sure that females of all species are hardwired to scratch out the eyeballs ofContinue reading “6 Ways To Be A Stepmother Who Is Not A Mom”
5 Surprising Reasons It’s A Bad Idea To Love Your Stepkids As Your Own
Let me be clear: I love my step kids very much. They add joy and light to my life and I truly can’t imagine living without them. However, I don’t love them like they’re my kids, or like I’m their mother. I’m NOT their mother. I actually have a daughter of my own who wouldContinue reading “5 Surprising Reasons It’s A Bad Idea To Love Your Stepkids As Your Own”
2 Bedrooms, 2 Bosses. It Just Bites.
Imagine, if you will, that you work in an office where as part of the normal workflow you must work every other week at a different location. You pack up all your stuff – you might even need to put it in a large briefcase on wheels – and go to another desk in anotherContinue reading “2 Bedrooms, 2 Bosses. It Just Bites.”
We Should Think More About Things That Don’t Matter
Why is it so hard to keep our priorities straight? We think we’re focused on what matters, but in an instant, the universe can show us that we had it all wrong. We know what’s really important, but we insist on building other things up to be important as if we need to be surroundedContinue reading “We Should Think More About Things That Don’t Matter”
Yes, you can de-stress in just 2 minutes, and there’s no better time to learn how!
Suddenly, you find yourself being the teacher, babysitter, and all around domestic goddess of “pandemic-quarantine central”. No playdates, no playgrounds, no activities and no rest for you. You need to become a ninja of self-care! Your mental health is more important to how your kids get through this time (and how your marriage thrives throughContinue reading “Yes, you can de-stress in just 2 minutes, and there’s no better time to learn how!”
The Four-Minute Stepfamily
Roger Bannister, a mild-mannered medical student and middle distance runner was the first human being to run a mile in under 4 minutes. This milestone (pardon the pun) was a very, very big deal when it happened on May 6, 1954. Every serious runner in the world had been trying to do it for almostContinue reading “The Four-Minute Stepfamily”
Step-Parent S.O.S: Find Your Phone Buddy!
This might be the most important thing you read today. #Wouldn’t it be nice to talk to someone who understands what you are going through in your stepfamily day-to-day? It would be so great to feel like you’re not alone, like some of this cray-cray might actually be normal… There’s someone out there who feelsContinue reading “Step-Parent S.O.S: Find Your Phone Buddy!”
Start Thinking Smaller.
It’s not just the antidote to overwhelm, it’s the answer to most of your stepmom problems. There are only two reactions to overwhelm. You either become paralyzed or you spin your wheels. If you’re one of those people who find that being overwhelmed makes you more productive, it’s not really overwhelm, it’s more like challenge.Continue reading “Start Thinking Smaller.”
3 Common Misconceptions About Parental Alienation
This is the situation divorced parents fear more than any other (OK, maybe next to child support payments that empty your bank account!). If you are determined to put the needs of your kids first, it’s very hard to see them being held hostage by your angry ex. It feels like a really helpless, hopeless predicament but it’sContinue reading “3 Common Misconceptions About Parental Alienation”
The cure for picky eating [and BONUS: The cure for ANGST over picky eating!].
Summary CLICK BELOW to join my 4 day livestream video challenge from Monday March 9 to Thursday March 12, 2020. You can watch live, on replay or listen in audio only mode and download the tips and recipes too! bit.ly/stepmomtricks The book I mentioned is The Collapse of Parenting by Leonard Sax. Please come onContinue reading “The cure for picky eating [and BONUS: The cure for ANGST over picky eating!].”
Confessions of a people-pleasing stepmom [and the 3 stages of a recovery-in-progress]
Summary What can I say? It’s true, I’m a work in progress. Brene Brown’s audio-book The Power of Vulnerability is available from her website, http://www.brenebrown.com Visit my website at http://www.essentialstepmom.com Join the Facebook group, The Spectacular Stepmom We have a group for your spouse called One For The Dads too! Got my free guide yet?Continue reading “Confessions of a people-pleasing stepmom [and the 3 stages of a recovery-in-progress]”
ESP 2.17 Stop the “Stepmom Spiral”: 3 ways to conquer the habit pattern of negative thinking.
Summary Want my free gratitude journal template? Grab it here: bit.ly/123gratitude I love to hear from you – really, it just makes my day every time. You can find me at my personal email, info@essentialstepmom.com. If you’d like to chat, I encourage you to book a free 20-minute strategy session: BOOK A CALL WITH TRACYContinue reading “ESP 2.17 Stop the “Stepmom Spiral”: 3 ways to conquer the habit pattern of negative thinking.”
ESP 2.16: Who pays for what, and how is that working out for you?
Summary Do you and your spouse ever argue about money? Does it drive you crazy that he spends too much on his kids, or that his ex is making poor choices with the child care payments coming out of your joint bank account? My guest Tamasin Thomas is a certified financial planner AND a certifiedContinue reading “ESP 2.16: Who pays for what, and how is that working out for you?”
ESP 2.15: For those days when you think you just suck at this.
Summary Everyone has days like this, I know I have had my share. Days when you think you just suck at being a stepmom and everything that’s going wrong is your fault. I made a live video last year for my Facebook group, The Spectacular Stepmom and I decided to share it with you here.Continue reading “ESP 2.15: For those days when you think you just suck at this.”
ESP. 2.14 Dads, Kids and Consequences (and the 4-minute mile)
Summary There’s a lesson we can all learn from the story of how Roger Bannister became the first human to run a mile in under 4 minutes, and especially from what happened next! The world is changing, family structures are changing and we need to change in order to keep to keep the orders ofContinue reading “ESP. 2.14 Dads, Kids and Consequences (and the 4-minute mile)”
ESP 2.13 Dealing with Alienated Teens
Summary This is from a live video I made for my Facebook group called One For The Dads. If you’d like to join (and you’re a biological dad) send a join request! If you’re a stepmom and you’re looking for a social media community, join us at The Spectacular Stepmom I’d love to hear fromContinue reading “ESP 2.13 Dealing with Alienated Teens”
ESP 2.12 Riffing on Brene Brown’s “Dare To Lead”
Summary If you don’t know Brene Brown, just google her TED talk on vulnerability – it’s had over 30 million views. She’s the author of a number of fabulous books, but the one I’m working on right now is called Dare to Lead. I dare you to read it and not see every word ofContinue reading “ESP 2.12 Riffing on Brene Brown’s “Dare To Lead””
ESP. 2.11 My Christmas Miracle + REPLAY: OVERSTEPPING
Summary Happy New Year to you, wherever in the world you’re listening from. I am partway through a holiday experience unlike anything I’ve had in 13 years of blended family life. It took us a long time to get here, but that only makes me appreciate it more! If I can give you one singleContinue reading “ESP. 2.11 My Christmas Miracle + REPLAY: OVERSTEPPING”