Tina Turner Had It Right

What’s Love Got To Do With It? Anyone in a stepmom position with their partner’s children is not required to love those kids. You didn’t date them, and you didn’t fall in love with them. You didn’t make your life plans based on your feelings for them. It’s almost like having to pick a fewContinue reading “Tina Turner Had It Right”

105 The Alienated Stepmom

Summary Want to learn how to get through to kids who are being brainwashed about you? Sign up for my FREE 3-part workshop October 27-29, 2021 called Reversing Parental Alienation. Go to bit.ly/alienationstrategy to register and don’t forget to join the private Facebook group just for this event! You can always reach me at info@essentialstepmom.com.Continue reading “105 The Alienated Stepmom”

What your therapist doesn’t ‘get’ about your family.

Summary Family Constellation Therapy was created by Bert Hellinger. My favourite book on this topic is by Jakob Schneider – it seems to be out of print but the Kindle edition is available here:https://www.amazon.com/Family-Constellations-Basic-Principles-Procedures-ebook/dp/B08LVN84JX Reach out to me for a link to watch my video on some specifics of how to start making a newContinue reading “What your therapist doesn’t ‘get’ about your family.”

Stepfamily Energetics (Part 2)

STEPFAMILY ENERGETICS PART TWO “It all feels so natural, nobody even notices what’s going on until the whole ship is listing badly and taking on water – and even then, they don’t understand what caused the problem.” This is where I left you last week. So, how does it look in real life, when masculine andContinue reading “Stepfamily Energetics (Part 2)”

A Walk For All Reasons

Part One If you don’t already love to walk, I think that you should learn to love it. Going for a walk outside together, whether in the city or the countryside, is a wonderful bonding activity and will help you have a positive impact on a child in your life. Most kids today are wayContinue reading “A Walk For All Reasons”

Sh!t Happens; Resentment Festers

But There’s A Cure! Let’s face it, being angry or sad or disappointed is no fun. On the other hand, life would be pretty boring if nothing ever prompted you to assert yourself or create boundaries or if every person and situation completely satisfied your expectations. Anger, sadness and disappointment are common words for ways we feel when things don’tContinue reading “Sh!t Happens; Resentment Festers”

I Wish Mom And Dad Were Still Together

These are words that can strike at the heart of a stepmother so it’s important to understand what kids really mean when they say this. If you have lost one of your own parents, you might sometimes feel like saying “I wish dad were still around. I really miss him”. I think you know whatContinue reading “I Wish Mom And Dad Were Still Together”

I Hate Calling Myself A “Stepmom”!

I have been a “stepmom” for 12 years now, having already been the regular, normal, default kind of mom for some years before that wretched title was foist upon me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life with my husband’s kids. I just hate having to call myself somebody’s “stepmom”. For the years beforeContinue reading “I Hate Calling Myself A “Stepmom”!”

Hold Your First Family Meeting!

Maybe convening a family meeting sounds like as much fun as joining a Polar Bear swim on New Years’ Day, but if you do it right, it can be something everyone actually looks forward to. It also serves as a great way to accomplish a lot of crucial goals for your family: It makes rulesContinue reading “Hold Your First Family Meeting!”

6 Ways To Be A Stepmother Who Is Not A Mom

My personal approach to the role of stepmother is to avoid behaving like a “mom”. There could be good reasons to do otherwise, but for most of us I think this is the best policy and here is why: I’m pretty sure that females of all species are hardwired to scratch out the eyeballs ofContinue reading “6 Ways To Be A Stepmother Who Is Not A Mom”

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bosses. It Just Bites.

Imagine, if you will, that you work in an office where as part of the normal workflow you must work every other week at a different location. You pack up all your stuff – you might even need to put it in a large briefcase on wheels – and go to another desk in anotherContinue reading “2 Bedrooms, 2 Bosses. It Just Bites.”

Step-Parent S.O.S: Find Your Phone Buddy!

This might be the most important thing you read today. #Wouldn’t it be nice to talk to someone who understands what you are going through in your stepfamily day-to-day? It would be so great to feel like you’re not alone, like some of this cray-cray might actually be normal… There’s someone out there who feelsContinue reading “Step-Parent S.O.S: Find Your Phone Buddy!”

3 Common Misconceptions About Parental Alienation

This is the situation divorced parents fear more than any other (OK, maybe next to child support payments that empty your bank account!). If you are determined to put the needs of your kids first, it’s very hard to see them being held hostage by your angry ex. It feels like a really helpless, hopeless predicament but it’sContinue reading “3 Common Misconceptions About Parental Alienation”