Most of the existing support for dads dealing with post-divorce family life or being alienated from your kids has to do with confrontational legal approaches. It’s all about documenting everything: record the phone calls, timestamp the emails. Catch that ex making up stories, denying a visit, lying to the child services worker.
This kind of strategy keeps you in a survival mindset, far removed from your real power as a father.
Something deep inside is telling you that it’s all wrong, but you have no template for any kind of alternative approach.
You’d love to step away from the fight and let go of all the negativity but what comes next?
Are you really going to just stop fighting for your kids? No way!
Meanwhile, your relationship with them is in a downward spiral that you didn’t cause but you’re expected to fix.
And, nothing works – you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
I know for certain that there’s a way to win this kind of fight while staying on the high road. I’m no martial arts expert, but the most sophisticated battle arts are those that protect you from attack and incapacitate your opponent without injuring them.
Your opponent becomes impotent the moment you no longer recognize their ability to harm you. You’re simply not available to be messed with.
I think about that great scene from The Matrix where Neo has a moment of realization: “there is no spoon”. Reality is not as it appears. He no longer needs to fight the agent, Mr. Smith. He merely stands in his own power, performing a series of effortless moves that effectively neutralize his opponent.
This is where I want to see every divorced dad. Standing in the core of your potent attractor energy, drawing your children towards you with the pure magnetism of your integrity, your conviction, your endless devotion to their physical, emotional and spiritual welfare.
How do you get to this place?
Stay focused on what you want your child to observe when they watch you – believe me, they’re watching every minute! Model what you want them to see: patience, loyalty, courage, fortitude. It will take a lot of focus and concentration on your part.
How do you keep from being drawn away by distractions like hostile phone messages, harassing texts or gratuitous litigation?
First, join a support group, like One For The Dads on Facebook. You’ll meet other guys in the same boat – you can take turns rowing for each other.
Next, sign up for my email community. I send out weekly advice and encouragement, links to useful resources and other stuff. Send a join request to firstname.lastname@example.org
If you’re ready to go all in and become a truly Undeletable Dad, call me and let’s explore working 1:1 together.
My work is a custom combination of:
👉 insight into your family dynamics,
👉 specialized parenting techniques and
👉 bespoke strategy sessions, all of which can’t be found anywhere else.
We’ll harness powerful values at the core of your being to map out goals and action steps that will enable you to make your maximum impact in the lives of your children.
I’ve created a powerful tool that will allow you to develop an iron-clad testament to your engaged and effective parenting. This exclusive asset will save you both time and money if family court becomes an inevitable intervention on your journey.
Learn how to keep your kids within your orbit so you can raise well-adjusted and prosperous adults no matter your current circumstances of custody or visitation.
Other side-effects of engaging me as a coach and strategist are:
- Saving your current relationship from cracking under the stress of stepfamily life,
- Preventing stress-related health problems like migraines, ulcers or high blood-pressure,
- Getting back your sense of humor!
Give me a shout and let’s talk.
Watch my YouTube video series “What to do if you lose access to your kids”
Listen to my Essential Stepmom podcast – it’s for you, too!