What’s Love Got To Do With It? Anyone in a stepmom position with their partner’s children is not required to love those kids. You didn’t date them, and you didn’t fall in love with them. You didn’t make your life plans based on your feelings for them. It’s almost like having to pick a fewContinue reading “Tina Turner Had It Right”
Tag Archives: blended family
006 It smells like…home.
In this episode, I look at one of the many ways you can use non-verbal communication to break through the emotional barriers created by parental alienation.
105 The Alienated Stepmom
Summary Want to learn how to get through to kids who are being brainwashed about you? Sign up for my FREE 3-part workshop October 27-29, 2021 called Reversing Parental Alienation. Go to bit.ly/alienationstrategy to register and don’t forget to join the private Facebook group just for this event! You can always reach me at info@essentialstepmom.com.Continue reading “105 The Alienated Stepmom”
What your therapist doesn’t ‘get’ about your family.
Summary Family Constellation Therapy was created by Bert Hellinger. My favourite book on this topic is by Jakob Schneider – it seems to be out of print but the Kindle edition is available here:https://www.amazon.com/Family-Constellations-Basic-Principles-Procedures-ebook/dp/B08LVN84JX Reach out to me for a link to watch my video on some specifics of how to start making a newContinue reading “What your therapist doesn’t ‘get’ about your family.”
Stepfamily Energetics (Part 3)
So, we’ve just started to dip our collective toe into the world of how masculine and feminine energies operate behind the scenes in our family dynamic. I talked a lot about masculine energy last week in Part Two so it’s time to unpack the feminine energy a bit now. There’s a lot more to feminine energy thanContinue reading “Stepfamily Energetics (Part 3)”
3 Ways To Help Your Spouse Follow Through With His Kids
There’s a refrain I hear pretty often in comments from stepmoms in my Facebook group, The Spectacular Stepmom. Their partner has agreed to do something, usually around discipline, rules, schedules or schoolwork, but somehow he never follows through and nothing changes. When this happens, it’s easy to get emotional because it feels like you’re being ignoredContinue reading “3 Ways To Help Your Spouse Follow Through With His Kids”
A Walk For All Reasons
Part One If you don’t already love to walk, I think that you should learn to love it. Going for a walk outside together, whether in the city or the countryside, is a wonderful bonding activity and will help you have a positive impact on a child in your life. Most kids today are wayContinue reading “A Walk For All Reasons”
Random Acts Of Kindness | Stepmom Challenge
Last week, I had one of those cool experiences that just makes you smile for the whole day. I came up a dollar short at the store on a day that I only had cash with me and no cards to cover it. This smiling girl at the next check out held out her hand andContinue reading “Random Acts Of Kindness | Stepmom Challenge”
Peer Support Is Great, But Where Is Your Stepmom Advice Coming From?
Scrolling through my social media feed one day recently, one particular post caught my eye. It wasn’t in a stepmom group, but a regular parenting forum for women trying to learn how to parent in a kinder, gentler, more enlightened way than the way they might have been raised themselves. I think it’s awesome thatContinue reading “Peer Support Is Great, But Where Is Your Stepmom Advice Coming From?”
I Wish Mom And Dad Were Still Together
These are words that can strike at the heart of a stepmother so it’s important to understand what kids really mean when they say this. If you have lost one of your own parents, you might sometimes feel like saying “I wish dad were still around. I really miss him”. I think you know whatContinue reading “I Wish Mom And Dad Were Still Together”
I Hate Calling Myself A “Stepmom”!
I have been a “stepmom” for 12 years now, having already been the regular, normal, default kind of mom for some years before that wretched title was foist upon me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life with my husband’s kids. I just hate having to call myself somebody’s “stepmom”. For the years beforeContinue reading “I Hate Calling Myself A “Stepmom”!”
Hold Your First Family Meeting!
Maybe convening a family meeting sounds like as much fun as joining a Polar Bear swim on New Years’ Day, but if you do it right, it can be something everyone actually looks forward to. It also serves as a great way to accomplish a lot of crucial goals for your family: It makes rulesContinue reading “Hold Your First Family Meeting!”
Can you be a good stepmom if you don’t like kids?
Here’s what I think: the only opinion that matters about whether or not you are a good stepmom is the child’s. He or she is the only one who gets to weigh in on that. Not your partner, or his ex, or his parents or anybody else who wants to judge what you are doing. Let meContinue reading “Can you be a good stepmom if you don’t like kids?”
6 Ways To Be A Stepmother Who Is Not A Mom
My personal approach to the role of stepmother is to avoid behaving like a “mom”. There could be good reasons to do otherwise, but for most of us I think this is the best policy and here is why: I’m pretty sure that females of all species are hardwired to scratch out the eyeballs ofContinue reading “6 Ways To Be A Stepmother Who Is Not A Mom”
2 Bedrooms, 2 Bosses. It Just Bites.
Imagine, if you will, that you work in an office where as part of the normal workflow you must work every other week at a different location. You pack up all your stuff – you might even need to put it in a large briefcase on wheels – and go to another desk in anotherContinue reading “2 Bedrooms, 2 Bosses. It Just Bites.”
Step-Parent S.O.S: Find Your Phone Buddy!
This might be the most important thing you read today. #Wouldn’t it be nice to talk to someone who understands what you are going through in your stepfamily day-to-day? It would be so great to feel like you’re not alone, like some of this cray-cray might actually be normal… There’s someone out there who feelsContinue reading “Step-Parent S.O.S: Find Your Phone Buddy!”
Start Thinking Smaller.
It’s not just the antidote to overwhelm, it’s the answer to most of your stepmom problems. There are only two reactions to overwhelm. You either become paralyzed or you spin your wheels. If you’re one of those people who find that being overwhelmed makes you more productive, it’s not really overwhelm, it’s more like challenge.Continue reading “Start Thinking Smaller.”
3 Common Misconceptions About Parental Alienation
This is the situation divorced parents fear more than any other (OK, maybe next to child support payments that empty your bank account!). If you are determined to put the needs of your kids first, it’s very hard to see them being held hostage by your angry ex. It feels like a really helpless, hopeless predicament but it’sContinue reading “3 Common Misconceptions About Parental Alienation”
Essential Stepmom 