So, we’ve just started to dip our collective toe into the world of how masculine and feminine energies operate behind the scenes in our family dynamic. I talked a lot about masculine energy last week in Part Two so it’s time to unpack the feminine energy a bit now. There’s a lot more to feminine energy than the motherly part, but that’s what most of us rub up against in the stepfamily setting. Let’s take a moment to acknowledge the baggage of collective consciousness we carry regarding feminine archetypes in general and motherhood in particular. You know what I mean – it’s what drives your awareness of how you think you shape up as a girlfriend, a wife, or as the “assumed” mother of your partner’s kids when you go out in public. You’ve heard me say many times that as a stepmom, you have to ‘unplug’ your maternal instinct. The maternal instinct is like a kind of GPS. It works great as a guide for mothers in raising the little humans they bring into the world, but it relies on being hardwired right in to the operating system of those tiny beings themselves. As a stepmom, you feel your GPS coming online, but it’s not getting the real-world feedback/co-ordinates it needs to function. It’s literally sending you in the wrong direction most of the time. There are only two viable destinations (roles) for you in your stepfamily: 1. the place of ‘important/beloved personage’ who is not a mom (auntie, mentor, fairy godmother, etc), or 2. the place of a mother figure who lives in another dimension. That second option might sound kind of weird but stick with me! Imagine a 3-D chess board, like the way they played on Star Trek. |
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| The game is played by different rules than the one-dimensional version. The more powerful pieces can move between boards, weaving their influence in and out of each plane of engagement according to complex laws that open up these new possibilities. In this analogy, the stepmom (Queen) becomes a kind of shapeshifter who can adapt her “mothering” role to suit the circumstances, entering and exiting each board from another space where she waits for her next opportunity to make a move. She doesn’t gain or lose power by moving from one plane to the next. It’s how she wields her influence in this game. The maternal-instinct GPS is useless to you in playing the stepmom game because it’s running old collective codes. It’s not programmed to upgrade you to another plane of existence. It keeps you stuck on the hamster-wheel of trying, trying, trying to be some kind of mother in a one-dimensional game. Upgrading your consciousness and becoming multi-dimensional is the true treasure you seek on the stepmom quest! Evolving the very core of your being is what’s known as the path of self-actualization. It was recognized by the psychologist Abraham Maslow as the ultimate goal of the human experience. Through this lens, every one of your stepfamily challenges is a unique call to evolution, one that you’d never hear if you weren’t playing this game. You’re damn lucky to be here. . |
Stepfamily Energetics (Part 3)
Essential Stepmom 