Last week, I had one of those cool experiences that just makes you smile for the whole day.
I came up a dollar short at the store on a day that I only had cash with me and no cards to cover it. This smiling girl at the next check out held out her hand and said “Here, do you need a buck? Go ahead, take it!”
Suddenly, I was one of those people receiving a random act of kindness!
Even though I didn’t technically need the four quarters (because I was holding a bunch of totally unnecessary impulse purchases), I accepted what she held in her outstretched hand because clearly, this moment was what I had come to the store for today!
My thinly disguised feeling of embarrassment was now completely erased. I was suddenly a goddess! It was like standing under a shower of fairy dust.
Nothing feels better than catching such an energy bomb of kindness. I polled the stepmoms in my Facebook group, and they couldn’t wait to talk about the time someone had done something like this for them.
The comments in the RAOK thread popped up like mushrooms, and before long, stepmoms were saying how they had been inspired by reading each other’s stories and began adding what they had done to pay it forward for someone else.
The magic of all this is that apparently, it feels just as good to be the giver as it does to be the receiver!
So, here’s a challenge:
Go out and perform a random act of kindness. Be anonymous if you like, that’s usually the easiest way to start. Buying a coffee for the next person in line is a good way to get your feet wet. Don’t turn around, it spoils the magic.
Once you have a few of those under your belt, the next-level, Spectacular Stepmom approach to this challenge would be to offer a spontaneous act of kindness to someone in your extended step-family circle who has never done anything to deserve such a gesture from you. This person needs some real, wholesome “feel-good” in their life so they can stop trying to feel good by doing un-constructive things
.
It might be a bio-mom, or a mother-in-law, or even a stepchild who gives you nothing but grief. If you can’t quite wrap your head around showing up at the next pick-up or drop-off with a Starbucks in hand for your partner’s ex, just buy a coffee for a stranger and send it to her energetically, with your heart.
Be creative. Get into imagining things that just push the boundary of your comfort zone the tiniest bit. Start small and see where it goes!
This probably sounds crazy, but if you do it over time, you’ll see for yourself that this can open up a little crack of daylight on what might seem like a hopelessly dark, hostile horizon.
Go on – what have you got to lose?
BTW, it’s really true. What goes around comes around.
Tracy
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Essential Stepmom 