Step-Parent S.O.S: Find Your Phone Buddy!

This might be the most important thing you read today.

#Wouldn’t it be nice to talk to someone who understands what you are going through in your stepfamily day-to-day? It would be so great to feel like you’re not alone, like some of this cray-cray might actually be normal…

There’s someone out there who feels exactly the same way, and boy – would she be glad to hear from you!

Yes, you would be doing her a great big freaking favour if you would find her contact details and send her a private message. Here’s what to say:

Dear ___________,

Read your post online today. Sounds like you are actually living my life! Any chance you’d be open to talking some time? I would really love to chat with another stepmom, so let me know if you’re up for a call!


Your name.

Easy, right?

Now, if she accepts, here’s how to approach this:

  1. Plan a first call to introduce yourselves to each other. Make an agreement to keep it to 20 minutes or so, and put a timer on so you don’t fall down a rabbit hole of stories right away.
  2. Make a time for a second call, and agree to a structure where you each get half the time allotted to tell your own stuff. Use a timer – this is important!
  3. Your job is to either talk, or listen. That sounds obvious, but it’s not. Don’t offer advice, try not to comment as she goes along with how this or that sounds just like what happened to you. You’re allowed to say “Uh-huh…what else?” or “What was that like for you?” or “Wow, I can imagine how I would feel if that happened to me.” Your whole job here is to hold space for her to talk.
  4. When it’s your turn, she’ll do the same for you. She’ll just listen, without judgement, without cutting you off, without falling apart even if she’s feeling your pain.

Share this with her so she understands the ground rules. They’ll be a big help, because it’s easy to just feel like you’re supposed to say something back, to fix a problem. The benefit is in being heard – you don’t need to do anything else.

This might be the most important thing you read today.

Go ahead, find that woman whose posts make you feel grounded and normal, or the one whose life situation mirrors yours so closely. Let’s get social – really social, not behind our avatars but human voices helping each other.

You won’t be sorry.

Go ahead and grab this free download, 3 Secrets Of Successful Stepmoms!

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