A Stepmom’s Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Remember, a while back, I asked for someone to share a loving relationship with? At the time, it was the most important thing in the world to me. I thought if I could just have that one thing – a partner – my life would be perfect. Well, you came through, and if I haven’t said it yet, I want to thank you for that one. 

Thanks also for the way you always sneak something I actually need wrapped inside something I want – good one, ol’ fella!

Nobody in their right mind would ever ask for challenges that will stretch them beyond their limits so they can’t do anything but grow. I didn’t ask for a life situation that would oblige me to become a better person in the coming year, but that’s what you sent wrapped up inside the love of my life. I’m doing my best, but I’d appreciate a little magic leg-up to help me on my way to that better version of myself you keep pushing me towards.

Please sprinkle some magic North Pole grace on my blended family. Family is usually bound together with DNA and lifelong memories. Those things make their own magic. We need your help.

Help my step kids to know I’m not their enemy. The best gift you could give them is to see me as a friend, someone just trying to help my partner to be the best parent he or she can possibly be. Help them know that I love them even when I’m deliberately looking the other way.

Gift my spouse the insight to see his/her kids the way I see them and to be able to parent them with confidence and strength as well as with love. If you’re sending books or videos, podcasts or emails to that end, please sprinkle something on them so he or she actually reads, watches or listens to them! (LOL. That means I hope you can tell there is love mixed in with my exasperation).

Help us as to communicate better as a couple and to spend enough time together to remember what we love about each other. If I may be so bold, Santa, some magical arrangement of childcare for this purpose would be most welcome this year!

And me? I need something to get over my habit of taking things so personally. Whether it’s being talked about behind my back or having kids in my house who don’t like to eat whatever I make, please send a fairy to sit on my shoulder repeating the words “It’s not about you, it’s never about you” so I don’t forget. If there’s room for me to add another three words to her vocabulary, let them be “lighten up, girl”.

About my naughty or nice track record, I know I don’t always sound grateful for some of the things that are propelling forward on my journey. Growing is painful work and this stepmom gig is definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I hope you’ll be proud of me when you see how far I’ve come this time next year. 

I know what you’ll probably say – you’re proud of me already.

With much love to you and Mrs. Claus,

A stepmom.